A dog, a job, a promise ring, several apartments, a move, and an ultimatum

So in the 3 and a half years that followed (that means for those of you keeping score at home, we were together 4 years before we got engaged) we experienced a lot of change. Some was good, some was bad, but we were by each other's side the whole way. We grew up! When we met I was 19 and when we got engaged I was 23.

After that first teany tiny apartment, we moved to a larger one (that was still a little grimy) so that we could get a dog! I grew up with Boston Terriers and I NEEDED TO HAVE ONE! Meet Bella

Bella (personal photo)

She is our stand in baby because that life choice is a long way off. She has brought us even closer together and is a constant source of entertainment. In this picture she has a cherry eye that we had fixed a few months later.

At this point we had been together for a year and a half, the Mr. ended up getting a great job and because he was having success decided to forgo the decision to go military (which secretly made me ecstatic). This is the job that he has now and is loving (on most days). I also graduated from college with my Bachelors degree and began a Master's program. We were still very young but we knew we wanted to spend our lives together. We also knew we could in no way afford a wedding and there was no reason to jump into things too fast. So on our two year anniversary, he gave me a beautiful blue sapphire promise ring.

personal photo

After my first semester in graduate school I dropped out because the department was suffering budget cuts and I could not find a professor who would take me on as my thesis adviser. I took a receptionist job while trying to find a job in my degree field. I was fortunate enough to graduate in August 2008, right around the time of the recession- lucky me. So I spent the next year as a receptionist.

The Mr. was doing well at his job but was hoping for a bigger territory and in October of 2009 he got his wish with not only a promotion but a transfer three hours away to a bigger market. I was thrilled because I didn't mind moving, it wasn't like I had my dream career at this point anyway. So we moved ... again and found ourselves in a new city. Once there I decided to apply at a different college and was admitted into a Master's program where I had a thesis adviser. 

After I had spent some time in school I knew I wanted to pursue a career in research. I also knew that my name is very important when it comes to my career. If I start publishing under my maiden name and then switch to my married name and then back to my maiden if we got divorced it would be catastrophic to my career. So I did what any rational woman would do- I gave him an ultimatum. I told my Mr. that if we didn't get married before I began my PhD. that I wouldn't change my name. Of course this was slightly in jest but it switched our conversation of marriage from "if we get married" to "when we get married". I also knew that the Mr. would support me whatever my choice on my name be because we had a good conversation about it. 

What kind of change did you and your Mr. go through to get to engagement? Did you have to force feed him the idea? Did it go over easy or did you need a spoonful of sugar to help the medicine go down?